Understanding your Safety Seeker

0.00 Welcome

0.12 Overwhelm

3.42 What if we are looking for a more authentic life but still don’t know how that completely looks? How to orientate and find more authentic bits and pieces?

5.45 Sleeping at night I have fight or flight feelings when I need to pee.
Are these feelings just physiological or are they maybe the Safety Seeker being scared? are they always related to something with a part?

8.08 If I have well retrained the rescuers, could my safety seeker feel more vulnerable?

12.09 I catastrophize constantly and then when I realize the horrible imaginary road that I am traveling down I feel so stupid and out of control. I don’t like having such a negative brain.

16.35 I know we need to feel our feelings but not live in them, meaning have them all day. So when my safety seeker is really acting up its hard to turn off. So when it does act up, how much time should I give it before I would do the stop, stop, stop. I know usually when a part acts up we can allow it to come and then allow it to dissipate and we can refocus our energies. When my safety seeker comes out it doesn’t want to dissipate too often. It wants to stay all day. So how do I find that happy medium of allowing my emotions but not getting stuck in them. I thought maybe I could allow my emotions for 5 min and then try to calm myself.

21.28 I have had and still have Emotionally Immature People in my immediate family. I set boundaries and ART as much as I can for the emotional negativity. I can now see how the safety seeker works with parts and gives me greater insight as to how to work and validate the triggered emotions to work on lessening the anxiety. My question is: What are some things I can say during ART’s to reassure the parts and safety seeker that we are safe since the situation will come up in future. I can understand the safety seeker not feeling safe due to eggshell situations so what can I say? (As well as the other parts getting triggered from past memory)

26.10 Can you please explain why I can’t seem to connect with this part and other parts for that matter, even though I am aware that I have them? I do try to talk to them but unable to receive any response.

30.25 The part that came up for me in the exercise is the youngest I’ve met, from when I first went to a childminder. It’s a sense that no matter how nice or fun anyone was, I should have still been with my parents. Does this fit in with the perceived lack of safety that can activate this part?

32.10 There are specific symptoms that had significance around me first becoming unwell, and occasionally when I get them with a regular virus, it can bring back the lack of safety and lack of trust in my body that I felt then. Is it enough to observe and work with this when it happens, or is there something that might help in between?

35.06 Around the return to work, my safety seeker can be activated by worries that my helper and approval seeker will eventually become more focused on others’ expectations rather than my own needs. I’ve recruited these parts to look after the safety seeker which feels good, but would it be helpful to check in with the other parts separately, even if I don’t feel they’re active?

38.22 My question is about uncertainty around making decisions/choices. When trying to pace or decide if it’s OK to try a new activity, I sometimes find it difficult to tell if the Safety Seeker or worried part are trying to protect me out of fear, or my WLS is making a wise choice that I’m not ready to do something. How do I differentiate?

40.57 What is the difference between the judgmental safety seeker and inner critic? Why or how does it make sense to differentiate between them?

44.05 Would it be fair to say that the Safety Seeker is one of the main drivers when it comes creating chronic symptoms in comparison to other Parts? I’m thinking of the whole safety/fight or flight response.

44.30 How long can it take before you are able to significantly calm the Safety Seeker in a noticeable way? I guess there’s various factors but I’ve had quite a loud Safety Seeker from childhood – definitely my most prominent Part, and the idea that I could change that is difficult to imagine.

48.59 Did you find that dealing with the Safety Seeker you were more resilient to emotional sensitivities (such as things people said) and environmental sensitivities (like being very jumpy)?

52.56 It feels that for some reason my safety seekers doesn’t want me to be healthy, or it cannot allow it or so. How can I figure out the problem it has with my improvement?

57.40 The victim often comes around when the safety seeker is active, how can I handle it when victim+safety seeker are at the same time? It is sometimes not easy.

59.57 It feels like a kind of power battle between the safety seeker and me, the more I retrain the harder the safety seeker puts me down. And if it is a battle I don’t think I can win.

1.02.58 Do I always work with the Safety Seeker alone in ART? So one round with the victim part, then the next round with the Safety Seeker? Or does it make sense, for example, to do a round in ART together with the Safety Seeker and the victim? I’m asking because my Safety Seeker is really scared of the victim. It would make sense to talk to both of them at the same time so that they understand each other, wouldn’t it? But I’m not sure because both have really strong feelings.

1.05.56 How does an healed Safety Seeker feels like? Does he/she grow up like the other parts and feels safe on it’s own?

1.09.02 You talked about an empty world that feels safe: My inner child is still in quite an empty world, there are no other people. (I feel like there could be a link to the safety seeker here) How can I fill this world with life, or even better, bring the inner child into the real world, bit by bit?

1.13.16 How can I work with the judgmental safety seeker? Is this the part that also judges about what other people say and how they behave (perceives it often as dangerous)?

1.16.43 How can I differentiate between the worried part and the safety seeker? It often feels pretty similar

1.20.04 What’s Next and Feedback Form