Understanding Your Perfectionist Part

0.00 Welcome

0.31 When I went into the part doing the usual things I became overwhelmed with a memory of being shamed, I was overwhelmed with this memory. I could not control the crying or try to put the memory to one side. This effected me for some time after getting emotional all the time. Do you think this is the perfectionist part?

6.32 Is the perfectionist, and maybe together with the achiever, the part that wants to problem solve all the time rather than the worried part?

8.23 My perfectionist presented as my current self and was very relaxed. When I asked what other kind of job it would like to do, it said“ to take care of you”. That was nice but seemed to be a re-frame of what it is doing already and I wasn’t sure how to respond?

11.22 You talk about different parts energy being in various parts of the torso. What part is in the head manifesting the heavy dull sensation that often accompanies fatigue?

13.47 How can I support my adult daughter, without being perfect and without maximize her inner critic and perfectionist. Is acceptance first to get calm? I can get calm only if I have more distance to her and her emotions aren’t so present to me. If I am in contact and feel her emotions and struggling, I am triggered with less sleep, shame, fear that she will stay unhappy forever and I made mistakes as a mother. Then I feel powerless, hopeless, helpless to support her. (I did the victim exercise, but couldn’t sleep enough either) The feeling, it is to late, I didn’t recognized early enough what she needs, and my inner critic puts me down each time she is sad and struggling.

23.41 You mentioned the feeling of the perfectionist is doom. Did I get it right? What do you mean with it?

24.37 What came up in the session was the link between my perfectionist part and grieving part. My grieving part did not want to allow me to really go further & so I allowed it to follow your instructions rather than for the perfectionist part. I have listened back through the workshop & made notes – Journaling as I go has been helpful & my grieving part is much happier allowing my perfectionist part to be present in this way.

I want to ask whether you have any advice for working with the perfectionist part whilst at the same time working with my grief part (& allowing emotions).  My perfectionist definitely gets in the way of my pacing, normally mainly physically & mentally – maybe I’m different there – but it does keep reminding me that I need to do the right thing for my grieving part (getting there slowly, allowing emotions & that it will take time).

31.37 It seems that my perfectionist part (and other parts) can be more active depending on hormonal fluctuations and things like sleep deprivation. Do you find that our internal, biological  state can influence which parts are the most active?

37.11 What’s Next and Feedback Form