Understanding Your People Pleaser

0.00 Welcome

0.14 What’s the best way to earn trust with our People Pleaser?

3.24 How do you“earn” secure attachment if you haven’t been securely attached? What do you consider to be earned secure attachment? How does it feel or look like?

7.32 Is it necessary that you know at what age and in what situation a part has develop? I feel several times different ages coming up.

9.24 I am more prone to people pleasing when I have very little energy. Does this mean anything?

11.51 I feel like my people pleaser and approval seeker are primarily interested in avoiding criticism. Is there anything you could share about this? Is it just me, or do many of our parts lead back to avoiding criticism?

14.08 It seems like people-pleasing could be partially socially and culturally conditioned in women, who are supposed to be”nice” in Western culture. Do you have any comments on how this might influence this part developing, or how it behaves?

16.41 How does the People Pleaser relate to ADHD or vice versa? I struggle to identify whether what I experience is a trait of my ADHD or the People Pleasing expressing itself, especially when it comes to feelings of being judged.

19.46 How do you calm the People Pleaser in the midst of a conversation once you realise you’re people pleasing or even when messaging people at work or socially?

23.05 How do you become more comfortable at saying no and setting boundaries?

29.10 I realised recently that if I’m upset or angry at an individual or individuals, I briefly feel like I care less about people pleasing, and it’s feels quite nice and liberating, I am not sure if anyone else experiences this.

31.56 I know I have these parts I find it difficult to communicate with them.I ask the worried part each day when I do ART what I can do to help her feel safe and connected, but I haven’t yet received any answers or messages back yet. I do find the part work very complicated.

36.36 During the exercise I had an Old woman come up and a memory from the past. Is it right to work with the nice girl or do I need to work with the old woman too?

39.35 I guess it’s the people pleaser in me that’s afraid of getting completely healthy. Because being completely healthy is not possible and it’s not lovable and when I try to talk about it with my part she smiles and seems to dissolve…No answers… what can I do?

44.04 Could it be that this part is afraid of another strong voice (Inner critic perhaps) of me that says: “Being ill is weak and despicable” (my fathers side)? If yes – What is the best way to deal with all of this, because I tried to talk to both of them at the same time, but I didn’t get any further. Do you have any advice for me?

48.07 I’ve discovered that my people pleaser and perfectionist parts probably developed at about the same time and are working hand in hand. I’ve been battling insomnia for decades, I started a low stress part time job about 8 weeks ago. Ever since, the insomnia is worse than ever. How do I talk to my People Pleaser about the insomnia? Is she rebelling because the other symptoms are better? Or is she working too hard because I have a job now, and we have to impress our superiors at this job because pleasing them is our number one priority?

56.26 What’s Next and Feedback Form