Understanding Your People Pleaser
Originally Aired: Wednesday, September 9, 2026
This Workshop is complete, you are able to purchase a copy of the Workshop below, which is yours to keep Forever.
Included in your purchase will be:
1 x 90-minute Workshop Recording
1 x 100-minute Additional Q&A Session
1 x Audio of the Main Session Exercise
1 x up to 10-minute Personalised Audio Reply for up to 3 short questions directly related to the Workshop
Cost: £40
"Thank you again for this enriching workshop, Julie! Before I thought there isn't much people pleasing in me. But this workshop opened my eyes what is going on in relationships where I admire others or when I think others are better than me or I would love to be like them. If they think about me in a special way, they are right no matter what I think. But some days or hours later I feel some disagreements. Now I understand, why this happened to me in some of my friendships!!! I am happy to understand, how this part got burdened and so I can give it compassion and understanding and slowly it can relax and get healthier behaviours."
Who is this Workshop Designed for?
You might already have some awareness of your people-pleasing patterns, especially if you’ve completed the Gupta Program and understand the concept of “parts.” This workshop is designed to deepen that understanding and help you work with these patterns in a practical, compassionate way.
It is designed for:
• Anyone who wants to better understand their people-pleasing patterns
• Anyone who has completed the Gupta Program and already has a foundational understanding of the “People Pleasing Part”
• Anyone with an open mind who is willing to explore and gently challenge long-held beliefs
• Anyone who also recognises an active Inner Critic, and is curious about how these parts interact
You might be someone who is always available for others; the one who gives, supports, and shows up no matter what. On the surface, this can look like strength and reliability. But underneath, it may also come with exhaustion, resentment, or a quiet sense that your own needs are often overlooked.
This workshop will help you understand why that pattern exists, how it’s maintained, and how to begin shifting it. You’ll explore the “People Pleasing Part” in a way that supports awareness, choice, and a more balanced relationship with yourself and others, without burning out.
"Julie is an expert whose input is inspiring and very productive. She's very insightful, and I find that the more I listen to what she has to say, the more I learn. Julie's intelligence and insight are not easy to find. Her information is complex and relevant, she answers questions thoroughly and completely. I can't say enough about how much I have learned from Julie."
What You’ll Experience in This Workshop
In this workshop, you’ll begin to gently explore and understand your People Pleasing Part; how it developed, how it shows up in your life, and how it impacts your wellbeing, relationships, and health.
Together, we will:
• Recognise how the People Pleasing Part shows up in your thoughts, emotions, behaviours, and relationships
• Understand how and why this part developed, and the role it has played in helping you cope and stay safe
• Explore the beliefs that drive people-pleasing patterns
• Uncover what the People Pleasing Part is truly trying to achieve or protect you from
• See how this part connects with the Inner Critic and other parts within your system
• Understand how the People Pleasing Part can contribute to internal conflict, stuckness, or repeating patterns
• Explore how this dynamic can impact your energy, emotional wellbeing, and physical health
• Begin to shift your relationship with the People Pleasing Part in a more compassionate, aware, and balanced way
• Learn how this part can be integrated so it supports you, without leading to burnout or self-neglect
• Be gently guided through a process of connecting with your People Pleasing Part as a first step toward healing
"For anyone who hasn’t decided if they will take Julie’s workshop yet, go for it. The content covered and cost of the course is exceptional. After finishing one workshop I immediately signed up for another. Thanks Julie."
Structure of Session
0.18 Introduction – Your Coach
3.40 Connect as a Group
8.23 Guidelines
10.45 Stretch and Yawn
13.55 Main Topic – Understanding your People Pleaser Part
50.57 Stretch and Yawn
52.52 Exercise – Meeting your People Pleaser Part
1.09.01 Additional Information
1.10.46 Questions and Answers
1.27.09 Four Steps of Boundary Setting
1.28.28 What’s Next – Additional Q&A
"I have taken all Julie's workshops and find them well thought out and presented in a way that is safe and gentle, with permission to absorb the material at one's own pace. The information I have found to be invaluable in working with my parts. I highly recommend these workshops to anyone who is wanting and willing to put in the work to really work and learn about the various aspects of self and how it impacts the healing journey."
Additional Q&A
0.00 Welcome
0.16 I have been very ill for 4 years, with undigested emotions of childhood and youth and so on, due too the behaviour of both my mum and dad. I did a lot of work. My mum and dad love me, I love them. However; their behaviour did not change and they did not grow in consciousness about it.
I am triggered once or twice a week… and although I am more resilient and happy now then I was before… I struggle with too much triggers or the severity of the effect. I come into a really unlivable inner emotional-though pattern. It takes me 4 days to get out.
I wonder how I can deal with the fact that I cannot (don’t want to) completely break with my mum and dad, but also don’t want to be dragged down so often.
I have been putting borders. It is 50/50 successful as they can’t control their behaviour….
I would be very grateful for any ideas on that.. I don’t want to please them/ their behaviour anymore.
7.42 Apart from the mentioned emotions (hopeless etc), all referrals and links with the victem part are not clear to me. Seems like a huge blind spot 😕. My question would be to put some extra light/ elaborate on the slipping from People Pleaser to Victem Part
12.21 Safety ist my number one issue. I don’t feel safe very often. Not being sure about my needs or my feelings I have problems setting boundaries. Even knowing my boundaries in the first place. If I finally want to set a boundary my People Pleaser gets into finding the right words – sometimes for hours – so that the other person doesn’t feel offended. There is a lot of fear of upsetting people so they might act out their anger on me. How do I feel safe in the first place?
17.21 I’ve experienced gaslighting and manipulation lately. No idea how to deal with that. In those situations my People Pleaser still tries to justify that behavior. Doesn’t dare to confront them. Feels weak and seems to feel every vibe of the other person. Keeps on fawning in order to feel some sort of safety or flees. Any suggestions on that?
23.47 My People Pleaser is very scared of conflict. It has never learned how to deal with conflict. No blue print or role model. No that’s not the Victim jumping in 😉 It’s very scared of being critized as well. Again, that feels very unsafe and like being put down as a person. Funny thing, when I’m inside of my window of tolerance, which is rarely the case, it’s so much easier. No idea how to not get kicked out of the Window of Tolerance in those situations or how to get regulated. When I try to ground and center myself I don’t feel some parts of my body in the first place. Any ideas on that?
29.43 I can usually be more of my authentic self for 1 or 2 days for example when I have family visiting, but it feels like it takes a lot of effort. So after a couple days I it just feels easier to cater more to them and not my needs to avoid criticism and judgement. Since I am able to do it for a couple days, (which is progress for me), is this my people pleaser part starting to transition and not always need to protect me?
35.30 Can you share more about how to deal with the discomfort of other people’s negative emotions?
38.12 How do you navigate the people pleaser part when supporting your children? Just for context, I have children ranging from 18 to 28. When my kids are unhappy, I feel like I have to do everything to please them, make them feel better, and share love with them. I get particularly triggered by my 25 year old who gets very anxious too and has a strong people pleaser part.
41.45 Can you speak more about how to find a way to accept that some people may not like you?
45.55 If you have never taken time to think about your own needs, what first steps can you take to identify and truly connect with your own needs?
48.09 If boundary setting is a new concept, how do you go about defining and defending them?
56.01 As a People Pleaser, how do you best pace yourself to avoid fatigue?
1.00.39 The main question that I have is that you talked about people pleasers are more prone to bad pacing. Is this because of wanting to do things for others?
1.02.58 I am very bad at pacing, but usually it is after doing something fun for me rather than pleasing someone else for example going for a cycle ride, because this makes me happy.
Please can you clarify the difference.
1.05.33 How do I tell the difference between serving out of love or people pleaser motivation?
1.09.50 Since most of the time I do consider my own needs and also like to see them met (e.g. when meeting with friends before the condition) I believe that I don’t have that “all-in” People Pleaser part. However, I very much recognize myself in that background thinking like “What do they think of me?” and “What will they think about me when I do or say this or that?”, almost like parallel watching myself through the lense of a camera. How could I mitigate that through working with my Approval Seeker part in order to use less energy for this kind of thoughts and feel less dependent on other people’s opinions?
1.13.57 Although I do stand up for my own needs, I generally dislike being in conflicts with other people. I imagine this might be down to situations which I experienced as a child and teenager. Could this have formed my Approval Seeker part and how might I work with it so that it feels less discomfort in conflict situations?
1.16.32 If for example I sometimes feel disappointed that since I have ME/CFS some of my friends as well as friends of my mother don’t get in touch as often as I/my mother would in return, I believe that to be down to my Approval Seeker part (who wants to be seen).
I wonder how to deal with this so that this behaviour doesn’t feel so much like neglect and make me feel even worse with less energy as a result. How could I work myself through this using parts work? (Even if, as I often hear, it might also be down to general societal changes.)
1.20.20 How can I differentiate between the people pleaser and an insecure attachment part?
1.21.53 I have been working with my PP for quite a long time now and it is vital for my recovery that I learn to acknowledge and express my needs instead of putting the wishes and needs of others before my own. Isn´t there a faster track than all this observing and validating?
1.24.58 So the PP needs to have its needs fulfilled (boundaries, nurturing etc.) by the WLS., right?
1.27.04 Parts Mapping – Overwhelm with Parts and Parts Clusters (3 or more parts active)
1.30.57 What’s Next and Feedback Form
1.38.25 Language Interpretation
1.39.38 Goodbye and Thank You
"Julie shares an incredible amount of knowledge with us in her workshops. Knowledge to understand and knowledge to continue working with the parts - thank you for that! She presents these complex topics and relationships between the parts in a simple and comprehensible way. The atmosphere during the workshop is very respectful, I felt safe and relaxed. This workshop has raised my part works to a higher level and I am already looking forward to the next workshop."
Purchasing the Workshop
This Workshop is complete, you are able to purchase a copy of the Workshop below, which is yours to keep Forever.
Included in your purchase will be:
1 x 90-minute Workshop Recording
1 x 100-minute Additional Q&A Session
1 x Audio of the Main Session Exercise
1 x up to 10-minute Personalised Audio Reply for up to 3 short questions directly related to the Workshop
"Another fantastic parts workshop, thanks Julie. I never felt like parts work came naturally to me before, but through this series I've got to understand and appreciate all my parts so much better. It's led to positive shifts in self-compassion, pacing and my overall health for which I am very grateful!"
FAQ's
How do I sign up for this Workshop?
Please use the link above, found under “Purchasing the Workshop”
When will the Recording of the Workshop be Available?
You will be emailed the workshop within 2 working days (Monday – Thursday)
What is Included in my Purchase?
The Main Workshop Video and Audio, Supporting Documents, The Additional Q&A and the timestamps for easy re-watching of the Workshop.
I have Questions, Can I still ask them?
Yes, everyone who purchases the workshop is welcome to e-mail me 3 short questions questions within 1 Year of Purchase for a Personalised Audio Response.
Where do I send my Questions?
divine_serenity@yahoo.com
How long will I have to Download the Recording?
30 Days
Am I able to keep the Recording?
Yes, once downloaded it’s yours to keep for life.
I have not received the e-mail containing the recording.
Please check your Spam/Junk Mail, and email me at divine_serenity@yahoo.com if you are still not able to find it.
"If you're struggling to connect with or understand a part, then Julie's workshops are a must. Julie creates a safe, supportive space where she shares her extensive knowledge and first-hand experience of working with parts with warmth and care. The exercises to get to know and work with your parts better and the opportunity to ask questions both during and after the session make the workshops really useful."
Still have Questions?
If anything is unclear, you’re welcome to reach out via the contact page below or email me directly at divine_serenity@yahoo.com.
"I have done 2 workshops with Julie and she is so kind and considerate. You instantly feel safe and at ease with her. You can see how she really loves doing this work. She explains things very thoroughly and makes you feel that you questions are important and of value. I highly recommend her workshops"