Understanding your Inner Critic Part

00.00 Welcome

0.12 I have a fear of failure (which I understand sounds like it’s coming from the victim part), and my inner critic is there too, saying I am too stupid to succeed because I have failed in the past, perhaps saying something like “you failed in the past at this exact thing that you are trying to do now, so you should not try it again: you aren’t good enough, you’re too stupid, etc.” My question is, will I eventually, though the inner critic exercise and building trust, stop believing this message? I feel like it has evidence to support its argument so a part of me does believe it. Or is this another part and not the inner critic? 

6.14 I noticed during the group experience exercise, that i managed to visualise myself inbetween a circle of everybody, but my conciousness started to drift away an pulling me out of the circle. And i felt the same kind of transparent wall or bubble separating me from the others, which i use for trying to create positive boundaries in other cases. But this time it created negative distance, which I notice i feel more often trying to do so. Could this help me to work on more positive boundaries, allowing positive emotions to get through?

10.28 And I know, that working with the safety seaker is quite an issue for me during the last period of time- and I decided not to wait for your workshop on that. As I got the impression that my inner critic is pushing and triggering all the other parts, especially the safety seaker to work harder, avoid mistakes and is communicating that in quite a sharp negative (and triggering) voice, which makes the others feeling unsafe to relax. And I managed to see behind the outer shell of it during the exercise, so is it helpful to work with this part first, as I understood the fear behind it now, to learn not triggering the safety seaker or better the other way round?

15.40 My inner critic sounds like, feels like, looks like my mother (controlling, emotionally distant, conditional love) – eek where do I go with this thought I’d dealt with all this ‘from my mum’? 

19.53 I’ve noticed some unusually strong out of place emotional reactions this week these look like ‘I hate my inner critic’ ‘self hatred for lack of authenticity/inability to be the real me’ and a deep sadness/grief for what might have been/years lost in terms of not living out my true self. Question assume there is another part coming into play here how do I approach this ?

24.07       Seems like a tangled web – where/how would you advise I begin to unpick this/start ?

25.42 When I do the exercise or when I blow a part out on the mind map. It’s really strange. I can’t get that part talking to me. I guess what it might like to tell me and choose to respond according to that guessing. It’s like I am very much in my head and on an intellectual level. Often there is a lot of overwhelm as well. I feel so much empathy for that part that I start crying. Then I ask myself if I am in my Wise Loving Self at that moment. I was wondering if I can retrain a part by maybe doing some writing when I am in that part. To get to know it better. Is it possible to do parts work in a different way? Or maybe parts work doesn’t work for me??

29.49 You’ve mentioned the Accelerator for still existing core beliefs. Could you please give an example on how to do that. Especially the very last step. If my core belief is “I’m not loveable”. Do I end with “I’m loveable” without feeling it? 

34.31 My parents, especially my Dad have very extreme I. C. and mine developed in really early childhood. It mostly acts upon myself. Lots of inner talk and putting me down. I’m very careful not to criticize others, because I don’t want to hurt them. When I am in a romantic relationship it’s sort of different. After a while a lot of resentment builds up and then I explode, criticize and can be really malicious – exactly like my Dad… Feeling lots of shame afterwards. Any suggestions how I can retrain that?

40.34 After all I sometimes wonder if it’s possible to retrain all those parts on my own.

45.28 I realise I have an inner critic which comes from the female adults in my life as I was growing up who would be brutally honest with me without filtering. For example, if I put on weight, they would point it out. What they said was always true but their words didn’t make me feel good and I now do this to myself all the time. For example, my hair is a lot thinner since the menopause and every time I look in the mirror I have a voice pointing it out. What is the best way to start working with an inner critic which is truthful but doesn’t help me?

50.14 I did the exercise again because during the workshop I blanked out as usual for me it was no different the second time. Do you think this is a protector part?

52.47 One of my inner critics feels like a dark cloud or an evil spirit that is constantly following me around, always staying behind me .  When I try to point out good things, it responds with: „yes, yes, but…“. How do I deal with such an elusive phantom? During your exercise I see a scared 4-5 year old kid behind it and I hold and soothe her whenever I can and she would like to be a good fairy. But next time I look, the cloud again follows me around when I go about my day.

57.05 How might I notice that one of my ICs is becoming a cheerleader, i.e. that a positive statement is coming from it and not from Self? Are there examples of signs in the body, mind or emotions of the IC relaxing and becoming more constructive? Does a new image for the IC simply appear or should I look for it?

58.39 One of my ICs disapproves of some parts particularly strongly (the reactive parts – the cake monster, the shopper,…), whereas it tries to help others (the victim for example). Is that normal and how do I best handle the relationships between parts?

1.03.39 What could be the new identity of my inner critic, instead of making me down or criticize myself all the time. Could you give me some options?

1.06.08 What could be the new identity of my inner judge or the protector part, which might be beneath the criticism of the inner critic? What new options can I offer them?

1.09.34 How to get past thinking that the inner critic is the only way I’ve accomplished things in my life? 

1.13.21 Inner critic uses the Gupta Program as another way to judge and criticize me and tell me that it’s not working. How to do the Gupta Program without the inner critic always measuring how I’m doing?

1.16.12 What’s Next and Feedback Form

1.19.14 Language Interpretation

1.20.11 Goodbye and Thank You